DIY Home Breast Augmentation

After seeing the report about breast implants and anaplastic large cell lymphoma, I told J I didn't think I would be getting breast implants. All is not lost for him,though, and I have promised to make them as anatomically correct as my black sharpie will allow. I have decided to fill small balloons with water and duct tape them to my chest, for a DIY home breast enhancement procedure. I feel this will be a safer way to improve my self esteem and increase my bust-line. Now to choose a color...