Flashback #2

One evening, my (then) boyfriend and I went to Target to check out the clearance racks. Upon entering the store my boyfriend turned to me....

BF: I have to use the bathroom

Me: well, then, GO

BF: nah, I can hold it.

We walk back to the men's section and he finds some jeans to try on and I wander off to the women's section. About five minutes after we split up, this blur that was my boyfriend came whizzing by, hurling jeans at me and all I caught was the word "bathroom" as he raced out of sight. Chuckling and shaking my head, I went back to browsing. About ten minutes later, I hear my name being called over the intercom, asking me to come to the service desk. Thinking that he couldn't find me, I walked towards the desk, but didn't see him...so I began to wander around the store looking for him. Again, I hear my name called over the intercom. This time I walk up to the service desk and tell them that I was paged. This guy, who I didn't know, walks up to me and asks me if I'm BF's girlfriend. I say "yes". The poor guy, obviously, is trying hard not to laugh, and says "your boyfriend had an accident". It then dawns on me....he.shit.his.pants. I smile and say "oh my god, he shit his pants, didn't he? it's ok, you can laugh. did he?". The guy dies and while wiping tears from his eyes he says "yes" and that I need to buy a pair of pants for my boyfriend. I take the pair of jeans in my arms and pay for them and go to the men's room door. I knock and slowly open the door and call for my boyfriend.

Me: BF???

BF: come in here, do you have the pants?

Me: I can't come in there, I'll get in trouble and yes, I have the pants.

BF: *hobbling to the door with only a football jersey on* thank you

I hand him the pants and wait. He comes out of the bathroom a few minutes later and BOLTS out of the store, red faced. I make my own purchases and head out to the parking lot, where he's understandably upset.

Me: what the hell happened?!

BF: I thought I could hold it

Me: apparently NOT

BF: shut UP! I was fine, until I started trying on the pants. Then I felt the "inner push" and thought I could make it. I was squeezing so tight. I made it to the bathroom and into the stall and was fine, until....

Me: what? what???

BF: I bent over to pull my pants down and it just shot out of me all over the wall, behind me, all over the toilet seat and the floor. Oh my god I'm so embarrassed.

Needless to say...he missed his "target" *rim shot*