The kids came upstairs screaming (they'd been fighting). I was sitting at the computer and John was watching tv.....
S: K HIT ME IN THE NUTS! (she threw a bean bag at him and he missed)
Me: Ok, you guys probably need to go to bed. I'm tired of the fighting.
S: MOMMY! K HIT ME IN THE NUTS!
Me: S, I heard you the first time, you'll live. Go to bed.
S: BUT MOMMY, SHE HIT ME IN THE NUTS, IT HURTS!
Me: OK, EVERYBODY...S GOT HIT IN THE NUTS. REPEAT....S GOT HIT IN THE NUTS...and this just in....IT HURTS! *J begins to laugh*
: MOMMY, STOP MAKING FUN OF ME....IT HURTS!
Me: S, you got hit in the peener...it didn't get cut off, you didn't slam it in a drawer or get it caught in a bear trap. You got hit in your wee little weenie by a bean bag. Do you know what hurts? Pushing a baby out through your vagina hurts, S. If I can overcome that you can overcome a bean bag smacked peener. Now...GO.TO.BED!
** disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form saying that getting hit in the peener is not, in fact painful. I am sure it hurts, smarts, brings a tear to your eye, etc. However, I highly doubt it is as painful as pushing a baby through your vagina (or the pain from the contractions, for that matter). If and when you push something through the tip of your peener, be it a baby, a smart car or a kidney stone...then you'll understand what I mean.**
S: K HIT ME IN THE NUTS! (she threw a bean bag at him and he missed)
Me: Ok, you guys probably need to go to bed. I'm tired of the fighting.
S: MOMMY! K HIT ME IN THE NUTS!
Me: S, I heard you the first time, you'll live. Go to bed.
S: BUT MOMMY, SHE HIT ME IN THE NUTS, IT HURTS!
Me: OK, EVERYBODY...S GOT HIT IN THE NUTS. REPEAT....S GOT HIT IN THE NUTS...and this just in....IT HURTS! *J begins to laugh*
: MOMMY, STOP MAKING FUN OF ME....IT HURTS!
Me: S, you got hit in the peener...it didn't get cut off, you didn't slam it in a drawer or get it caught in a bear trap. You got hit in your wee little weenie by a bean bag. Do you know what hurts? Pushing a baby out through your vagina hurts, S. If I can overcome that you can overcome a bean bag smacked peener. Now...GO.TO.BED!
** disclaimer: I am in no way, shape or form saying that getting hit in the peener is not, in fact painful. I am sure it hurts, smarts, brings a tear to your eye, etc. However, I highly doubt it is as painful as pushing a baby through your vagina (or the pain from the contractions, for that matter). If and when you push something through the tip of your peener, be it a baby, a smart car or a kidney stone...then you'll understand what I mean.**
No comments:
Post a Comment