Monday, February 22
Friday, February 19
McDonald's FAIL
I'm not a huge fan of McDonald's. It's ok, once in a great while, but basically it's cheap and unhealthy. J thought he'd be nice and pick up some lunch for us today. He got me my usual (McChicken and small french fry) and then some hamburgers and a large fry to split with Zoe. We sat down to eat lunch....
1 McChicken Sandwich = $1
Surprising your wife with lunch = big smile
Seeing the look on your wife's face as she realizes that the only thing "McChicken" about her sandwich is the wrapper = priceless
How do you spell "McChicken"? I know I don't spell it Fish Fillet! Clearly someone is not qualified to "make" "food" at McD's. Duh, I'll just put it in a McChicken wrapper, no one will ever notice! Good thing I check stuff out before I take a bite. I don't think there is enough water in the world to rinse the taste of McAss out of your mouth.
1 McChicken Sandwich = $1
Surprising your wife with lunch = big smile
Seeing the look on your wife's face as she realizes that the only thing "McChicken" about her sandwich is the wrapper = priceless
How do you spell "McChicken"? I know I don't spell it Fish Fillet! Clearly someone is not qualified to "make" "food" at McD's. Duh, I'll just put it in a McChicken wrapper, no one will ever notice! Good thing I check stuff out before I take a bite. I don't think there is enough water in the world to rinse the taste of McAss out of your mouth.
Tuesday, February 16
Drugs are gooooooooooooooooooood....
Let's see...I had two wisdom teeth removed on Feb 9th. Boy was THAT interesting. I opted to take Lorazepam ("I don't give a damn" pill) before the appointment. I was fine until it started to kick in twenty minutes after I took the pill. After that...woooooooooooooooooo! I was gone, ha ha. J got up, since I couldn't drive the kids to school, and when S asked me a question...I just sat there staring at him, my mouth agape. J said "yeeeeeeeeeeah...Mommy has left the building". After he dropped the kids off at school, he asked me if I remembered the address. I said "pffft, i don't need an address, i know where it is". J, wisely, chose to look up the address. When he asked me if google maps had the right place (it's hit and miss with that thing, i swear. this was a miss) i said "...it's not there. it's somewhere else". J was extremely patient with me while I was in my drug induced stupor (drug induced stupid?). When he asked me where it was...
me: duuuuuuuuuuh it's with the wild turkeys
J: and where would those wild turkeys be?
me: *scoffs* on a different street
J: *face palm* we're not going to make it there are we?
me: I know where it is, it's on the other side of xyz street. *very seriously* it's VERY tricky though *nodding head*. It's a long windy road to the end, but once you get there....WILD TURKEYS!
We made it to the correct place at the correct time. I sat in a chair in a daze. J checked me in.
Receptionist: I need her to sign a form.
J: believe me...you don't need her to sign anything
Receptionist: she opted to take the pill, didn't she?
J: OH yeah
I was shuttled back to the back. I wish I could say I got better, but...I didn't.
Me: do I get the mask *holding hand over nose...and leaving it there*
Hygienist: *sing song* did you take your pill this morning?
Me: *nodding*
Hygienist: yes, you get the mask *holding her hand over her nose*
she gave me the laughing gas and things started to get...weird. Voices and sounds were echoing and metallic, the tiles on the ceiling started to swim and...I kid you not, I heard the theme music from Super Mario Brothers, the old NES version. I closed my eyes and as I opened them, I heard the Windows start theme. I, finally, couldn't handle it any more and started laughing.
hygienist: what's so funny?
me: i just heard the windows start theme as i opened my eyes
hygienist: *patting my shoulder* that's because i rebooted the computer honey
the oral surgeon came in and gave me my shots of Novocaine and just popped my wisdom teeth out, as if I merely had two Chiclets's sitting in my mouth. I wasn't given any pain medicine and, as it turned out, I didn't need anything stronger than Motrin and Tylenol.
me: duuuuuuuuuuh it's with the wild turkeys
J: and where would those wild turkeys be?
me: *scoffs* on a different street
J: *face palm* we're not going to make it there are we?
me: I know where it is, it's on the other side of xyz street. *very seriously* it's VERY tricky though *nodding head*. It's a long windy road to the end, but once you get there....WILD TURKEYS!
We made it to the correct place at the correct time. I sat in a chair in a daze. J checked me in.
Receptionist: I need her to sign a form.
J: believe me...you don't need her to sign anything
Receptionist: she opted to take the pill, didn't she?
J: OH yeah
I was shuttled back to the back. I wish I could say I got better, but...I didn't.
Me: do I get the mask *holding hand over nose...and leaving it there*
Hygienist: *sing song* did you take your pill this morning?
Me: *nodding*
Hygienist: yes, you get the mask *holding her hand over her nose*
she gave me the laughing gas and things started to get...weird. Voices and sounds were echoing and metallic, the tiles on the ceiling started to swim and...I kid you not, I heard the theme music from Super Mario Brothers, the old NES version. I closed my eyes and as I opened them, I heard the Windows start theme. I, finally, couldn't handle it any more and started laughing.
hygienist: what's so funny?
me: i just heard the windows start theme as i opened my eyes
hygienist: *patting my shoulder* that's because i rebooted the computer honey
the oral surgeon came in and gave me my shots of Novocaine and just popped my wisdom teeth out, as if I merely had two Chiclets's sitting in my mouth. I wasn't given any pain medicine and, as it turned out, I didn't need anything stronger than Motrin and Tylenol.
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