Loser...

Because I'm incapable of sitting still, I keep an electronic solitaire game in our bathroom, for when I need to be in there for an extended period of time (don't worry, it gets disinfected on a daily basis). Granted, sometimes the game is the reason I'm in there, for an extended period of time. J and I have had this "friendly" competition going. I am usually the owner of the high score, but occassionally J passes me up. For a long while the high score was stuck at 600 (mine), after months, and I do mean months of trying, J beat my score with 620. A week after he passed my score, I set a new one with 660. After many MORE months of trying, he passed me at 670 and was SO excited about it, razzing me and giving me crap; telling me that I was a loser and he was "the King". Alas, his glory days were short lived. The next day, I was once again the Queen; I broke his high score by five measley points... 675 was the new high. I gave a victory cheer, from my seat on the throne and joyously broke the news that I was, once again, the Solitaire Queen. John's response was not one of joy, but rather one of "Are you freaking kidding me?! It took me MONTHS to beat your score and you beat me by FIVE FREAKING POINTS?!".

This morning, he comes out of the bathroom ranting about how he can't believe I beat his score by five points, how I must have either cheated and/or must be a witch. All I could do was chuckle and say "better luck next time!".

I'm sure this is probably only amusing to me (most things are), but I'm also sure that many of you, at one time or another, have had similar friendly rivalries with your spouses, friends, family members, etc and can understand why this is, at least, a little funny.

I kind of feel bad that J, often, seems to be on the losing end of my greatness, but at the same time....I WIN!

The "talking" ATM...

I've always considered myself lucky that my kids have never really "embarrassed" me by saying things in public. The only one that I can remember is when Z yelled at me, in the store, a few years ago "I DON'T HAVE TO POOP! THEY'RE JUST BAD FARTS!". Today's episode wasn't really embarrassing, but I could have done with out.

When we moved to Kansas, from Utah, we decided to stay with our credit union in Utah. It's not a problem, since there is a "sister" credit union, here in Kansas. We can deposit any checks, at that branch, or use their ATM to withdraw money without a fee, etc. The nearest ATM for this branch, is inside the grocery store. This morning I went to the grocery store, to use the ATM, so I could get groceries (we try to use cash instead of the debit card. it helps us stick to our budget better). I, also, took K with me. I already don't like using their ATM because it beeps so loud, alerting everyone in the store to the fact that you're withdrawing money. I withdrew the max amount allowed for one day. As the cash was coming out, K squeals REALLY LOUD "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOK AT ALL OF THAT MONEY! IS THAT REALLY WHAT FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS LOOKS LIKE?! THAT IS A HUGE STACK, MOM! DO WE GET TO KEEP ALL OF THAT?!" *face palm*. Needless to say, not only did everyone know I withdrew money from the ATM, they now knew exactly how much, thanks to K.

What the...

J and I went to the Casino, this evening. When I sat down at the first machine, the lady next to me hit the minor jackpot. So, I cashed out and moved to another machine. I sit down at a machine, that's in a circle of machines. This lady comes over, smiles at me, I smile back (I'm friendly, dammit!), and I continue to play. I'm watching her with my peripheral vision, while I play the slot machine. She is wearing a low cut shirt, really short cut off shorts and wedges. She leans over, towards me and starts...adjusting her..um...rather large bazoos. I pretend to be oblivious to everything. She does it four times. I ignore her and play my game. She lights up a cigar and blows smoke in my face. I ignore her. She continues to lean over, towards me, and adjust her boobs, again. I'm "ignoring" her and thinking "what the...does she have a midget stuck in there and needs me to pull him to freedom?!". This lasts for about ten minutes. She never plays the machine she is sitting in front of. She finishes her cigar, adjusts her bosoms, again, and stands up. She then leans forward, towards me, so that her chest is like two inches from my face, jiggles her stuff and then walks off. Leaving me to be thoroughly confused;giggling and snorting, until tears fill my eyes. Anyone have any ideas on what the hell that was all about?! Seriously? I attract that strangest people, I swear.